Sunday, 4 May 2014

Celebrating what it is

I am excited about things, and people, and tea.
This morning, after the shower, I looked at my body for more than 2 minutes. I have adventures coming up in June, and hopefully July. Maybe I wanted to check if my body would be up to it; I am going to be demanding strength, and stamina, and smoothness and attractiveness. So I looked.

And this is what I found. My hair is definitely showing silver, I found a few sparkling strands, very close to each other, where I had none only a few weeks ago. My skin is also changing and becoming drier and more sensitive. I can't get away with not moisturising everyday. And the stretch marks! They tell my story of gaining weight, and losing it, gaining weight away, and losing it again...
I am getting visibly older. 
As I stood there in front of the mirror I though 'it's good that is so' and then, 'well, even if it isn't good, it's still happening'. I saw my body as it was right then, in that moment, and there was no judgement, and it wasn't good or bad, it just was.

And then, as I brushed my teeth, I sensed the joy of moving my elbow up and down, and my wrist nice and loose. The precision instruments that are my fingers, holding the toothbrush. My mouth sensing the plastic fibres, and tasting the minty toothpaste, and the cleansing friction on my teeth and then it came. The gratefulness.
I'm older, and stronger, and younger, and more fragile, and aware, and alive. My body is good stuff, and it's mine. I'm alive, hot damn!

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